Not Yours

I am not yours, nor lost in you,
rather lost in myself
perturbed, deep, confused thoughts
labyrinthine when confessed.

Red smiles that played beacon
now hide, shrouded in uncertainty
forcing unwilling steps from
my self-guided wandering feet.

Lost not in you,
lost in our memories, alone.


Social Disease

At that moment, your words cut
like a blunt knife slowly
scraping at my throat until I
bled out verbally,
leaving nothing left inside
but the flecks of rust
that broke from that
same weathered knife
infecting me, ever deeper
with a social disease
incurable by medicine and
only time will tell if I ever recover.

Stuttered Speech

I stutter, speaking
in a language accessible only to
those who feel like me,
an unbalanced combination
of fear, laughter, pain, and love
topped off with your
special ingredient, humiliation,
but you will never eat that which you cooked
so thoroughly,
since I will never bother you
with my words again.


When she asks about me
tell her that I still care,
please tell her that I moved on
that I never meant to let her go.
But tell her I that I became a teacher
who finally learned
but, don’t tell her that I miss her
as those words are too much for me,
if she is happy now
that’s all I’ll ever need.


Her eyes spoke to me that day,
sunlight penned her story as it
shined glistening off
water-colored green and brown
causing the paint on her face to run
adding value to the masterpiece that she is.

Cars rolled by providing background
to her kneeling, hands cupped head raised
smothered though are the sounds of
angry apologies that steamed from
her quivering lips.

The space between us became endless
my eyes darted, leaving,
betraying you all the while I
had thought that I knew what strength was,
now I know I was wrong.


She hesitates,
exhaling a pure cloud of white smoke
hiding the meaning behind her words
as I stand conflicted; entirely uncomforted
by her stuttered statement of “okay”
audible only.
As I raise my eyes I hesitate,
old faults now visibly
tearing up her skin
I fear to speak for I
don’t want her to shatter
from my quivering voice.