Rude Awakening

I wake up to my alarm clock
Instead of to your message.
The knowing that you don’t care
Leaves a void in my soul.My mind wrestles to fill it
Thinking of the tasks for the day ahead.

Without avail,
My mind traces back to how you
Woke up and forgot me,
Or did you forget?

Was it your intention?
What did I do wrong
What should I do right?

I will myself fully awake,
Now completely conscious of my
Singleness, loneliness, my emptiness
That was once plural, accompanied, filled
A day ago.

It sinks in,
The words that were said,
The pain that I unconsciously numbed
Myself  from, for mere emotional protection.

But it’s inevitable
And I tear up but
I stop myself
“Men don’t cry”
I whisper half-stuttering.

Collecting myself I make it to
The bathroom mirror.

I look pathetic, but outward
Never tell the truth.

I splash my face with water,
Put on my mask and smile.

And now I wait for my
Sudden unrequited love void
To be filled when someone braves
To take that chance.


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